Two Wolves and An Announcement
Each of us fights the most important battle of our lives inside our heads. Fortunately, it is the only battle in which we have full control over the outcome.
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I recently heard a Cherokee Indian story. It’s about two wolves.
A grandfather said to his grandson, “A fight is going on inside me.” The wide-eyed boy asked: “What kind of fight?”
The old man explained: “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
The timing of this story came to me felt like a divine intervention because as tulips in my garden start blooming, the birthdays of my children are near. This Friday, April 26, is my daughter Allie’s birthday – Happy birthday, sweetheart! Allie would have been three-years-old. Her brother Lucas’s birthday is only a few weeks away.
If I chose to be angry, resentful, and sad that I didn’t get to raise my children, and that their precious lives were cut short, no one would blame me. I fed that bad wolf before. It was an easy decision at the time, except I quickly discovered that rather than finding peace, I felt worse. The bad wolf inside my head was eating me alive. Moreover, my anger, resentment, and sadness hurt not only myself, but also people who love me dearly.
I hadn’t heard about the two wolves’ story back then. But I was able to reconnect with my Christian faith, which pulled me out of the emotional sinkhole. I learned not to look down and focus on what I don’t have, but always look up and rejoice with the eternal hope. I realized that I owe it to my children, people who love me, and ultimately to the Creator, to live a good life, be productive, creative, courageous, and helpful. Thank God that the good wolf inside my head won that battle.
I have to admit that the two wolves inside my head have fought many more battles since then and the good wolve didn’t always win. But thanks to my faith and my two guardian angels, I have chosen to feed the good wolf more often.
Each of us fights the most important battle of our lives inside our heads. Fortunately, it is the only battle in which we have full control over the outcome because we get to choose which side should win, and which wolf to feed.
Announcement
Producers of a documentary series titled “I Am More Than” reached out to me for an interview late last year. They explained that the concept of the series was about encouraging everyone to look beyond other people’s superficial attributes, being willing to explore the complexity of individuals, understanding how each person is shaped by their experiences, especially by traumas, and most importantly, how each individual found their way back through mental health recovery. The series includes ten episodes. Each episode is about one individual sharing their stories while creating a piece of art.
I was one of the ten individuals the documentary interviewed. During my interview, an artist helped me create a painting: a blue butterfly flies across a field of green grass and bright red flowers, with the sun illuminating the sky with its golden rays.
My episode will be shown at 8 pm Mountain time on April 30th on the Rocky Mountain PBS channel (channel 12). PBS will put the video on its website afterward. I am a bit nervous since I haven’t seen how it turned out since my interview. I hope the episode lives up to its promise and presents my story as truthfully as I have always done. If you do get a chance to watch this episode, please let me know. Thank you.